This
friendship day, let’s be friends with ourselves too. The ways of the world
today have made many of us hate ourselves. Let us therefore become our best
friend, an intelligent one who can tell us the difference between what we need
and what we want and not just make us want what the world wants us to want; a friend who will always be there with us and never leave us with feelings of loneliness. How
often have we heard people say, “I hate myself for what I am”? We have always
been taught to forgive and forget but have continued to be harsh with
ourselves. It’s great to have friends whom we love but it’s equally good and
much needed to recognize our self worth and inculcate self respect.
Of course it
takes time to build friendship with our self and work on intelligently towards
respecting it. Many of us may have been insulted by many camouflaged
incompetent people, who out of envy or simply their habit of putting others down
caused us an almost irreparable damage. They probably did their job to
perfection when planting seeds of lack of confidence in us. Well, we need to
recycle that waste generated in us to get the best by unlearning self detestation
and replacing it with self respect. We are not worthless, undeserving or not
amiable just because we are too dark skinned or too thin or too fat or too tall
or too short or just too different in all ways. We need to give time to
ourselves and value ourselves.
Our intelligent
inside has been neglected enough in the gathering of external friends, and we
have almost forgotten that there is someone within who wants to talk to us and
guide us. Many friends outside are like dots on an art paper which we keep
connecting in the hope of getting a perfect picture. It often crumbles though.
This reminds
me of a lovely story of a student who once went up to his Master and asked,
“Teacher, tell me how many friends does a man need? Would one be enough or many
are needed?” The Master smiled and pointed to an apple tree in the orchard and
said, “I’ll give you the answer but before that bring me an apple from the
highest branch of that tree there.” This
made the student sad because the fruit was too high for him to reach. So the
Master told him to take help from his friends. The student then called a friend
who came readily to lend his shoulders. Standing on the shoulders of his willing friend, the student attempted to reach the target but was unsuccessful. The addition of friends began. One
after another they made a pyramid to reach up to the highest branch. But the
apple was yet too high to reach and the student had by now run out of friends.
Also, due to exhaustion, the pyramid too crumbled.
The Master
looking at the failed experiment, smiled and asked the student if he had got
the answer to his question. The student nodded and said, “Yes sir, I have
understood that man needs as many friends as he can to solve all kinds of
problems he may face in life” and with a smile he added, “such as in this case,
to reach the apple.”
The Master
shook his head in disappointment and said, “Oh no! You didn’t need so many
friends to reach you to the top by sacrificing their shoulders and go through
physical pain. You only needed one good and smart friend who would understand
that you needed a ladder!”
May be we
need to think about where we are heading with the pyramids of friendships we
are building today and ignoring the one inside us who is waiting to help us
when we are alone. The pyramid out there looks wonderful, but will it stand the
test of time or will it crumble under the weight of trials life often offers? Probably
like the Master said, we need an intelligent friend; the one who is within us always and waiting to be acknowledged to help us reach the top. Perhaps we need a
friend who can help us by bringing a ladder of understanding to recognize our
own worth. This friendship day let us then look forward to meeting a friend who
will introduce us to the one waiting in the interior to help us be acquainted with him
instead of leading us to drown in a tsunami of acquaintances?
So aptly written! ππ
ReplyDeletethanks neeta
DeleteSo true,M'am. Most people take great pride in the number of friends they have, often uncomfortable to face the one within. Better to have no friends than many pseudo-friends.
ReplyDeleteyou got it Levinda
DeleteNice article , so from now on no more friends allowed !!
ReplyDeleteonly the right ones
Delete